4/30/2023 0 Comments Manos the hands of fate![]() If you gave a plumber named Joe a camera and told him to make a movie, you would get something probably as incompetent as this. ![]() It feels like it was done by a crazy man, but I think it’s more likely that it was done simply by a guy who had no inkling of what makes motion pictures work or how to make them. Manos: the Hands of Fate is both repellent and fascinating. There’s also a scene where he beats up one of his wives for insubordination (this scene is not shown on the MST3K version), which is pretty disturbing to watch even for this ick-fest of a film. I really have no idea about how the cult of Manos works, but I must say that Tom Neyman has some choice dialogue. This is all done to appease “Manos”, who is some kind of pagan god, or something. Meanwhile, Torgo falls in love with Margaret, makes a clumsy pass at her, and then gets his hand roasted on the fire by the Master, who is dressed in black robes and looks like a cross between Frank Zappa and Freddie Mercury. By the end of the flick, she is indeed strapped to a pole dressed in white as a new “wife”, but is that better or worse than killing the child? Anyway, the wives have a knockdown/dragout wrestling match, which as Joel Hodgson pointed out, was probably the reason the whole movie was made. They argue about what to do with the intruding family, mostly at odds with one another about whether to kill little Debbie or turn her into one of the Master’s new wives. Soon, we find that The Master (played by little Jackey’s dad Tom Neyman) has awakened from his slumber, along with his harem of wives (played by local models), who like to bicker alot. Somebody can’t keep their manos to themselves…Īn ominous painting featuring Torgo’s “Master” and a vicious dog freaks Margaret out, then Pepe the dog is killed by an unseen creature out in the desert. (Later, it was discovered that the character of Torgo was intended to be a satyr, with hooves, but this is never seen on camera). ![]() His knees bend strangely, causing him to hop around, and he’s accompanied by annoying, repetitive theme music, meant to suggest he’s some sort of threat. Torgo himself (played by John Reynolds) is a piece of work – he stutters and stumbles about, carrying a bizarre walking stick with the shape of a hand at the top. After interminable scenes of driving in their Ford Galaxie, where the camera shows rolling fields scored to a strangely-alluring jazz soundtrack (with flute, piano, and female vocals), the couple get lost and end up at a house (that wasn’t there a few minutes ago!) where Torgo the caretaker (he takes care of the place while the “Master” is away), after an uncomfortably long silence, finally agrees to let the family stay the night (even though it’s never established that this place is a lodge). The movie basically concerns married couple Margaret (Diane Mahree) and Mike (Harold Warren, who also fancied himself a leading man) driving around the desert roads of El Paso, Texas along with their little girl Debbie (Jackey Neyman) and dog Pepe, looking for a place called Valley Lodge. You’re going to live with Torgo for awhile while mommy and daddy go to Vegas. If the Manson family filmed a movie at Spahn Ranch, it might look something like Manos. Manos: The Hands of Fate is so inept, weird, and surreal, it’s like the movie was made by desert freaks on some kind of weekend bender. However, his experience with fertilizer came in handy, since he managed to deliver the cinematic equivalent. ![]() As Warren had no experience in filmmaking, this was a very bad bet. Warren made a bet with screenwriter Stirling Silliphant that he could make a successful horror movie on a very low budget. You see, once upon a time, in 1966, a fertilizer salesman named Harold P. Give it any amount of stars you wish, or don’t give any – like Ed Wood’s Plan 9 From Outer Space, they are all accurate. It should be considered not as a film but as a fact, or perhaps as an object.” That’s exactly what Manos is – some kind of object, a horrible-but-fascinating object, looking like a movie, but in reality being closer to an anti-movie. Manos: The Hands of Fate is a bizarre film that almost defies the idea of “good” or “bad”, like the time Roger Ebert refused to give a rating to John Waters’ Pink Flamingos, likening it to a geek show where “ stars simply seem not to apply.
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